Monday, June 27, 2011

Ruger, You Forgot Your Kitty!

The past month or so has been very trying. 

First, Kyle comes home.  That’s OK because I really like Kyle.  I have faint tickles of puppyhood memories every time I smell him.  He picked me up in Colorado and brought me to Alaska.  At least that’s the story.  I just remember his smell which I think is awesome.  But he brought a dog home with him.  I had heard he had a dog but I didn’t believe it.  This dog’s name is Ruger.  He’s young and he pretty much does what I tell him to and that is by far his most attractive quality.  He’s actually useful in the yard when it comes to chasing rodents because he is faster than me.  But he has a really short attention span.  Me, I can bark at a rodent in a tree for hours.  Ruger almost never barks and if the squirrel doesn’t come down in a couple of minutes he’s off doing something else.  Sheesh.

One great thing about Ruger is that it is easy and quite entertaining to get him into trouble.  All have I have to do is show him something stinky and he rolls in it.  Ha, ha.  Then he gets a bath.  Very funny.

I don’t like having Ruger in the house.  And I don’t like him to stand at the door waiting to get let in with me.  I go in first.  That’s just the way it is.  Fortunately, we have a front and back door so we split up.  I decided it was OK for him to be on the porch with me because I could explain things to him but not at the door.  Rules are rules.

As if bringing Ruger wasn’t bad enough, Kyle also brought Ruger’s cat.  His name is Arlo.  Mom thinks that’s a cool name because of some singer.  I say, who cares.  Arlo is just a year old and he doesn’t listen to a thing anyone says to him.  He plays with rubber bands for God’s sake.  Arlo is kind of fun to chase but I get yelled at when I do.  Am I just supposed to ignore his rude behavior?  We have rules around here.  Besides I’m not really chasing him.  I’m trying to herd him.  I’m told it’s impossible to herd cats but I don’t believe it.

Kyle was supposed to stay all summer.  Mom made it abundantly clear to me that I was going to have to not only tolerate Ruger and Arlo but be nice to them.  I’ll tell you, I saw nothing but misery ahead.  I had plans for the summer and none of them involved a black and white dog following me around.  Ruger is always happy and he always wants to play.  I have work to do – security rounds, maintaining my look out on the porch, guarding the chickens and ducks (that’s another story) – I’m a busy dog.  Oh, and that doesn’t include letting Mom pet me and sitting on her lap once in a while.

Then I got some wonderful news.  Kyle got a job in Seward.  I love Seward.  I was there when I was a puppy and swam in the ocean.  Do you know how many great stinky dead things there are on beaches?  Anyway, Kyle and Ruger and Arlo would be leaving.  Yes, siree, there is a God.  I couldn’t wait.  Suddenly, I didn’t mind Ruger leaving in the middle of a squirrel chase or jumping over me on the way to the chicken coop.  I didn’t mind if Arlo got me in trouble.  In fact, I just gave him dirty looks instead of chasing him.

I started getting really excited when Kyle started packing.  Ruger got nervous and anxious and that made me even happier.  I know how packing works.  Once the suitcases come out travel is eminent.  Ah, soon I would be alone with Mom and Lee.  The homestead would return to its normal patterns.  My afternoon nap would be undisturbed.  No more weird meowing sounds.  No more of Ruger’s ridiculous tail wagging.
 
Then the morning of Kyle’s departure arrived.  I could tell Mom was a little sad.  She took pictures of Kyle and Ruger and we sat on the porch and waved to them as they drove out of the yard.  I comforted Mom as best I could but inside I wanted to do my happy dance.

We went back into the house and right away I found a bunch of rawhide flip chips Ruger forgot to pack.  I’m sure me hiding them under the desk had nothing to do with why he forgot them.  I was just settling in for a good chew when I heard it.  I shook my head and figured I must have just imagined it.  But no, there it was again – a meow.  And then I saw him.  Arlo!

Mom, Mom, Mom, let me out, which she did because she is very compliant.  I ran down the driveway barking and crying out, Ruuugeeeer, you forgot your kitty.  But it was no good.  The dust had settled and they were already miles away.

Mom has promised me that it’s just for the summer.  I’m getting used to Arlo but really, he does such undignified things.  This morning he was in the window sill and he stretched and fell on the floor.  I kid you not.  And playing with rubber bands?  It doesn’t get much more stupid than that.  I mean, who cares?  I don’t even feel jealous of that.

What really hurts is that Kyle left Arlo here with Mom and Lee’s permission.  I was not consulted.  Obviously I must have dozed off during a critical discussion.  I will have to make sure this never happens again.  For the time being, I guess Arlo is pretty funny and he’s a sloppy eater meaning I get a few pieces of kitty kibble once in a while.   In the mean time, I will do as corgis have always done and persevere, making the most of even this horrible situation.  Excuse me now, I think I’ll go root around in the compost pile.

Until next time,
Bow Wow