On Guard

Finally I got Mom to sit down and help me write a new post for my blog.  Geeze, it’s been one excuse after another – and after all the things I do for her.  Like take this weekend for example.  Lee left in the white truck yesterday and hasn’t come back yet.  I didn’t think he would because he packed for two days.  Most of the stuff he packed was out at the shop.  I know ‘cause I helped.  It’s a thankless job.  He doesn’t appreciate how hard it is to stay underfoot all the time.  Mom says he’s at a gun show.  I’m glad we stayed home.  Gun shows are OK when I can come inside but otherwise I have to wait in the truck and it is BORING.

We always stay with our friends Dean and Mike in Eagle River when we have to go to Anchorage.  Me and my friend Mike have been dodging around rifles and parts and boxes for years.  I know that you know that I don’t really have any dog friends with the exception of my cousin Angel and probably Mike.  He’s a Springer Spaniel.  His person is Dean.  They are bachelors.  All I know is that Mike has his own ice cream dish and likes Ben and Jerry Carmel Sutra a lot.  Do I have my own ice cream dish?  Hmmm.   Anyway, Lee goes to a lot of gun shows and then he buys me food so really all the other stuff doesn’t matter - much.

Excuse me.  DANGER, DANGER, DANGER.  So the point of all of this is that Mom can’t handle things around here alone, no how.  So, I’m on duty pretty much 24/7.  Wait, I need to go check out that sound.

OK – no worries.  Just a magpie.  But wait – DANGER, DANGER, DANGER.  And Mom just sits there.  She has the nerve to tell me I’m imagining things?  Me?  I’d be insulted if I didn’t understand her limited sensory abilities.

Just today I had to remind Mom to close the gate at the bunny pen and then I had to interrupt my foraging in the compost pile to help her haul fire wood in the wheelbarrow.  That thing has a mind of its own if I’m not there to help her.

DANGER, DANGER, DANGER.  Finally, she looks.  It’s just a snowshoe hare?  Just a snowshoe hare?  Really, Mom?  Well, it’s gone now, thank goodness.  We’re safe again for now.

The part of taking care of Mom and helping her that’s the hardest for me is snuggling with her.  I’m just not a snuggler.  But I know that with Lee gone she misses her hugs and what not so I try to put up with some extra petting and I sit on her lap while she watches TV.  It’s not too bad until she has a hot flash.  Boy, then things get exciting.  She pushes me down, jumps up and starts stripping off clothes.

Tonight I’m going to have to keep a close eye on her.  Last night the oil heater went out and she didn’t do a good job banking the wood stove.  So the house was colder than a dog house at the North Pole this morning.  It’s almost dark again and the house is finally warming up.  Wait, I’ll be right back.

DANGER, DANGER, DANGER, DANGER, DANGER!  MOM, MOM, LET ME OUT.  DANGER, DANGER, DANGER!  MOM, LET ME IN!!!

Wow, that was close.  There was a squirrel on the wood pile.  I worked really hard helping to cut all that firewood and I’ll be darned if I’m letting a furry little pain in the ass rodent, tree climbing, bark eating vermin touch it.

It’s almost dark, although it’s either almost dark or dark all the time now.  But I better wrap this up.  Soon it will be time to go gather eggs.  I’ve got to be ready to help because Mom could step on a squirrel before she knew it was there.  God help us if another wild rabbit or one of those big kitties came in the yard.

Your friend,

Pearl of Nabesna

Chief of Homestead Security