Decoding Pee and Poo

I just got back to the house after a walk up the road with Mom and Lee.  There are lots of caribou around which is really great.  Their poo is in little pieces like bunny poo only better.  Anyway, before anyone starts getting upset about poo references you humans should know that I get a lot of information about my neighborhood from poo - and pee for that matter.

The great thing about poo and pee is that I know who's been by for a visit, who came into the yard or who just passed by on the road.  I can tell who's in heat, who's been eating meat recently, who is mad because I peed on their spot ...  The information is endless.  And during the winter it lasts a long time.  I just love burrowing into a snow bank and sniffing out some fox pee.  In the summer a good rain will wash away smells.  Humans have to be together or write notes to each other to exchange the same information. Let's face it, the digital age has done away with notes so what are you going to do?  Us dogs don't need to be connected to the spider web to know what is happening.

There are conditions that can be confusing.  For instance, if Lee runs over wolf poo from 15 miles away and then drives in the yard, it takes me a while to figure out that the trail leads back to the tires.  Once I get to the tires I know every dog on the mail run that peed on the tires.  This poses a personal problem for me because as some of you know, corgis are undertall.  We're supposed to be that way.  But I can't really pee on tires.  So I try to poop in the drive way so that Lee will run over it before he goes out on the mail run.



Getting back to my walk, the coyotes have been around and did some scratching and peeing much closer to the driveway than I appreciate.  I had to do a lot of marking.  Plus there has been a lynx around and it's not one of my friends from this summer, so I had to mark that.  Then a wolf left a big pile of poo in the road.  It had been eating caribou.  If caribou taste anything like their poo then I know why the wolves like 'em.  The coyotes had been eating hares and something dead.  I mean something dead that they didn't kill.  It reeked.  Of course I couldn't roll in the smell cause Mom was there.  These wild animals have some perks but I like getting fed on a regular basis.

I need to get a drink of water.  I'm dehydrated after all that peeing.

Your friend,
Pearl

There's One Creature Stirring

It’s Christmas Eve and I know in some houses the creatures aren’t stirring but that is not the case here.  There is a rodent under the house and it is chewing and gnawing and scurrying and driving me nuts.  It really pisses Lee off too.  He says he’s going to shoot the little bastard if he sees it coming out from under the house.  I have to tell you that the rodent might be more worried about it if Lee hadn’t been saying that for three months!

I really like it when we hear the rodent chewing and Mom runs to that part of the house.  She stomps her feet really fast and loud and yells.  I bark in my highest pitch that can still be heard by rodents.  I can tell it freaks it out.

Lee hired one of the kids from out at Slana to help repair damage under the house caused by the rodent.  It chewed through plywood and was tearing into the insulation.  The rodents like to use it for their nests.  I think that’s pretty dumb.  I guess maybe they like the pink color but that stuff is full of sticker things that cling to you forever – or that’s what Lee says.  Now the floor is much warmer and Lee thought he had all the access points sealed but the other night the wind blew open the door to the crawl space and the little bastard took advantage of it.

 

We used to have a lot more rodents but this summer a lynx family lived in the yard.  The mom taught the young ones how to hunt using MY rodents.  I only have about six left.  The mother lynx also ate most of the wild rabbits in the yard.  I only mention this because it just isn’t fair.  I told mother lynx that she could go hunt any where.  If I leave the yard I get into big trouble.  She, on the other hand, is free to go wherever she wants.  She has a whole national park to hunt in.  She said that my rodents were dumber than the ones who lived out of the yard and she was enjoying not having to work so hard to feed her family.

Mom is making me post this picture of me in my winter clothes.  She says that I look great and she’s right.  I know you probably don’t usually think of me as a trend setter, but there you go.  You should see Lee when I have to wear this get up.  The tough old grouchy hermit gets all giggly and silly and practically gushes about how cute I am and how cute it is that I run funny with my boots on.  Mom made my coat.  Ellie the Poodle used to wear it but she died so I wear it now.  It’s a little small but Ellie left big shoes to fill.  Anyway, the boots are weird to walk in but they do keep my feet warmer.  I don’t wear this get up until it’s -25 or colder and we are going to be outside for more than ten minutes.  Without the boots I have to stop and either sit or lie down and hold one or more paws up in the air.  It’s a bother.

So anyway, I hope the only creatures stirring at your house tonight are dogs and little kids and maybe some kitties.  Of course Santa and the reindeer.  But that’s a given.  Merry Christmas!

On Guard

Finally I got Mom to sit down and help me write a new post for my blog.  Geeze, it’s been one excuse after another – and after all the things I do for her.  Like take this weekend for example.  Lee left in the white truck yesterday and hasn’t come back yet.  I didn’t think he would because he packed for two days.  Most of the stuff he packed was out at the shop.  I know ‘cause I helped.  It’s a thankless job.  He doesn’t appreciate how hard it is to stay underfoot all the time.  Mom says he’s at a gun show.  I’m glad we stayed home.  Gun shows are OK when I can come inside but otherwise I have to wait in the truck and it is BORING.

We always stay with our friends Dean and Mike in Eagle River when we have to go to Anchorage.  Me and my friend Mike have been dodging around rifles and parts and boxes for years.  I know that you know that I don’t really have any dog friends with the exception of my cousin Angel and probably Mike.  He’s a Springer Spaniel.  His person is Dean.  They are bachelors.  All I know is that Mike has his own ice cream dish and likes Ben and Jerry Carmel Sutra a lot.  Do I have my own ice cream dish?  Hmmm.   Anyway, Lee goes to a lot of gun shows and then he buys me food so really all the other stuff doesn’t matter - much.

Excuse me.  DANGER, DANGER, DANGER.  So the point of all of this is that Mom can’t handle things around here alone, no how.  So, I’m on duty pretty much 24/7.  Wait, I need to go check out that sound.

OK – no worries.  Just a magpie.  But wait – DANGER, DANGER, DANGER.  And Mom just sits there.  She has the nerve to tell me I’m imagining things?  Me?  I’d be insulted if I didn’t understand her limited sensory abilities.

Just today I had to remind Mom to close the gate at the bunny pen and then I had to interrupt my foraging in the compost pile to help her haul fire wood in the wheelbarrow.  That thing has a mind of its own if I’m not there to help her.

DANGER, DANGER, DANGER.  Finally, she looks.  It’s just a snowshoe hare?  Just a snowshoe hare?  Really, Mom?  Well, it’s gone now, thank goodness.  We’re safe again for now.

The part of taking care of Mom and helping her that’s the hardest for me is snuggling with her.  I’m just not a snuggler.  But I know that with Lee gone she misses her hugs and what not so I try to put up with some extra petting and I sit on her lap while she watches TV.  It’s not too bad until she has a hot flash.  Boy, then things get exciting.  She pushes me down, jumps up and starts stripping off clothes.

Tonight I’m going to have to keep a close eye on her.  Last night the oil heater went out and she didn’t do a good job banking the wood stove.  So the house was colder than a dog house at the North Pole this morning.  It’s almost dark again and the house is finally warming up.  Wait, I’ll be right back.

DANGER, DANGER, DANGER, DANGER, DANGER!  MOM, MOM, LET ME OUT.  DANGER, DANGER, DANGER!  MOM, LET ME IN!!!

Wow, that was close.  There was a squirrel on the wood pile.  I worked really hard helping to cut all that firewood and I’ll be darned if I’m letting a furry little pain in the ass rodent, tree climbing, bark eating vermin touch it.

It’s almost dark, although it’s either almost dark or dark all the time now.  But I better wrap this up.  Soon it will be time to go gather eggs.  I’ve got to be ready to help because Mom could step on a squirrel before she knew it was there.  God help us if another wild rabbit or one of those big kitties came in the yard.

Your friend,

Pearl of Nabesna

Chief of Homestead Security